Okay, so the family of roving trailer park Gypsies has returned, and they dug out their land barge and moved it to another spot. No wait, to two more spots. Seriously, what is this dumbassery? I can't even fathom what inspires their actions and why they need to two places to park the SS Econovan. Really, I know it's a massive land vessel, but it really will fit in-between the yellow lines. I am out of hateful ideas.

I've asked that they move it, and "oh, we will" means that they're too busy arranging the trash and dog shee in the yard to better fit their Jackson Pollack ideal of garbage feng shui to pull the keys out of their hillbilly overalls to move their largest piece of trash to its rightful docking station, otherwise known as a "parking space." What a concept, a space in which to put a vehicle so that complete entropy of parked cars doesn't ensue. Following accepted social norms and values so your neighbors don't absolutely loathe you wish for the abrupt termination of your government welfare check so that you'd have to get a job (or sue McDonald's because they didn't make a coffee cup for illiterate degenerates and you happened to receive slight burns when you spilled it on yourself because you were driving, talking on the cell phone, and head banging to AM radio all at once) and live in a different house (ie see trailer park) far, far away where such norms are accepted and surprisingly valued. And the Carnival Cruisliner of a van hasn't moved in a week...

I'm buying a "Go Away" doormat and putting it in the middle of the sidewalk. Aw screw it, they'll think I'm telling that to myself. I'll save some money and use a method they might comprehend: sidewalk chalk, spray paint, and the child protection agency... if only that would help...