We don't like crazy and fast paced lives, but somehow it seems that we hardly ever have time to take a minute to stop, breathe, and catch up on just what's going on and where we're at.  Soooo, we suck at this blog stuff and keeping up with people.  Sometimes pictures are easier than words, so I'll throw a few of those in, it just seems lazier than words but more efficient.

2013 State Champs!

Twice is nice.  Repeat.  Back to Back.  All cliche, but all applicable and extremely fun to use.  The Rigby Trojans are the 4A State Basketball Champions for the second year in a row, it was an awesome experience with amazing kids and the best coach, Coach Jones.

R-L. Coach Barber, Coach Shippen, Coach Jones, Coach Me.

No one outside of our locker room expected much from these kids, but we knew there was something special in how hard they worked and how consistent they were in their efforts.  Coach Jones got them to all buy in to the team and into his system and it paid off to the fullest, it was very special to be a part of.  We beat Moscow for the title, while taking down #1 Skyview and BK along the way.

2013 Rigby JV

I was proud of the JV kids I had this year, they're fun to be around and enjoyable to coach.  I couldn't have picked a better group of guys to have on the team, and I expect big things of them in the years to come, not only as players but as people.






Between Melissa and I, we drove all over the free world it seemed like.  Well, actually, it seemed like we drove to the same distant places over and over and over.  Thus being so driven, we happened to hit 300k in the Element, which is quite a milestone for any car, and I'm glad Melissa slowed down to 50 mph to snap this picture.  She's working at South Fremont at the elementary and enjoying it, the kids are lucky to have her and I know she sure is attached to them.  She puts in copious amounts of time to get things ready and prepared, I couldn't be more proud of her and person she is.

Adam, Grandpa, Me, Melissa, Grandma

It was fun to have Grandma, Grandpa, and Adam up to Sugar for Thanksgiving... I can't believe it's been that long since I've written on this thing.  I usually get stuck working on this particular holiday, I was pleasantly surprised to be let off the hook and able to be with family and catch up with everyone for a little while.  I hadn't seen Adam in ages, it was great to see him and hear of his travels see that he is successful and happy.  Grandma and Grandpa were great as well, we're blessed to have such amazing family.

Buford the Creator

Samuel is learning the ways of Photoshop, which is far harder to deal with that I have ever imagined.  I tried to touch up a picture on there and I must have offended the Photoshop gods because it absolutely destroyed what was once a nice picture and changed it into something out of World War Z or The Walking Dead.  I've since learned to leave Photoshop to the pros, like Samuel.

Uncanny resemblance

Samuel also noticed a similarity in Alhiss and someone famous... but not in a very good way.  As it is depicted, our cats are doing well and are well fed.  They're the guardians of Mom and Dad's house, well, they'd trip someone trying to break in because they're too lazy to get out of the way.

Cattibus Sativa

So this is how boring I am.  I have a blog and I put three pictures of cats in it... wow, I must have seriously gone wrong a couple years back or something.  I'm trying to think of what could have happened that would turn me into such a boring cat-sharer.  My unoriginality is only trumped by my complete and total lack of creativity as I sit here pondering the state of my writing and cat picturing.

How Lexah waits for me to get home, staring at the door

Aves and his favorite toy

So fresh and so clean

It's been a great past few months, Melissa has made it through her first year of teaching and I'm about to start up school again to work on my Masters.  We are all healthy and happy, with nothing of extreme noteworthiness to report, and we have no complaints about that.

I have a quick rant to start with... Why can't people on the highway or freeway use the cruise control?  And why are the worst offenders on their cell phones yapping away, oblivious to the world around them?  Like anyone on the other end is thrilled to be talking to a distracted moron (someone too unintelligent to use cruise control) unless they too are putting the public at danger by driving while on the phone.

As I was on my merry little way to see Samuel in Boise, I was in the passing lane of the freeway and got cut off dangerously close by a Ford Focus going 10 mph under the speed limit.  I actually kept my cool, stayed back a little ways, then passed the moron when he moved back over.  Right as I proceeded past him, he pulled behind me and put his brights on and sped up to my bumper, I'm sure he was just angry that he was stupid enough to purchase a Focus and was signaling to me that he hated his life and was trying to end it by using the carbon monoxide from my exhaust.  Maybe it was a cry for help, or maybe it was well past that point.

Either way, I discovered that my sunflower seed spit cup was completely full, and I thought, "I'd better empty that cup so I can eat more seeds!"  I then emptied the entire cup out of the window of my car, which miraculously ended up all over a certain twit who happened to be a foot off my license plate.  Realizing my mistake, I gave the poor guy a nice little wave, but right then I got a hand cramp and that meant I could only wave with one finger.  I was afraid he wasn't able to see my waving with his brights on, so I left it out there for a while just in case me missed my gesture of good will.  I then sped back up to the speed limit and left the miserable sucker wallowing in his Focus loser-ness miles behind.

I apologize to anyone with a Focus if you're offended.  I also apologize that someone hasn't educated you on your Focus.  I would think Ford would have apologized themselves by now.

Anyway, I got to Boise and spent some time with Samuel, it was a great time!  I'm glad he let me come over, it's good to get out of town once in a while and spend some time with him.  We managed to eat some cat food that tasted amazing at PF Changs. 

I love the lettuce wraps, but really, doesn't it look like cat food?  Good thing it tastes sublime, and followed by Kung Pao chicken, it makes a pretty dang great dining experience.

Just outside Samuel's place, it's a nice hook up!

After running all over Boise searching for video games and eating half a million calories over the weekend, I'm sure Samuel was ready for me to leave.  It was good to hang out, I'll have to head back over in the next little while and try all the other great places that we didn't have a chance to eat at.  And ironically, on my way home, I got passed by another filthy gutter dweller who promptly slowed down so I had to pass them, only to have them speed up and pass me again.  And of course, this person happened to be yapping on the phone.  CRUISE CONTROL!!  HIT THE FREAKING BUTTON ALREADY!!  IT'S NOT THAT HARD!!

Melissa is teaching at South Fremont as the ESL specialist or something that I don't have the brainpower to understand the title and what it means.  She has a kindergarten class and works with some other kids in the school and really seems to love it.  She got out for "spud" harvest, two weeks off while people go dig potatoes and work in the fields.  We decided to head down to Utah and take Carly to lunch and hang out with her for an afternoon, it was great to see her!  I was too stupid to remember to take a couple of pictures, so we'll get some next time we head down.  Carly seems to be adjusting well, she's immersed herself in the Aggie culture and we're happy she's doing well!  Plus we went to Gossner's Dairy for some awesome "squeaky" cheese, couldn't have had a better day!

We lost our cat Bif last month, put up a few signs with a reward posted, called the animal shelters, and did a lot of cruising the town looking for him, but he was gone.  It was really, really sad, Bif (AKA Buford Madcat Tannen) is such a nice cat, a gentle giant.  We went by to feed Alhiss and my parent's cat Kit Kat the night we got back from Logan and guess who showed up?!!  Bif!!  He had been gone for well over a month and decided to come back from BFE or Buffalo Bob's basement or wherever he had been barely getting by.  He was skinny and dirty, but a bunch of food and water and some scratching of his ears by Melissa and me... good as new cat.  With a voracious appetite and still only one eye.  Maybe he was out looking for it, didn't find it, but good effort anyway.


 As you can see from the video, he's not the loudest cat, which is definitely part of his charm.  I don't think I've seen a cat with as big a frame as Bif's, he's like a mini handicapped panther.  And he runs like some wires are crossed internally, but we'll over-look that.

Ahliss- Loudest cat alive

I finally finished the ammo canister for my Dad, it only took about a year of procrastination and sanding off all the spray paint that I didn't like, when it normally should take a week if I have all my ducks in a row.  Thundercats was only one of the greatest shows ever made, so that's a mini-tribute to them.  I think I tried three different designs before I finally decided to go with what it ended up being... only like a store full of spray paint.  It's all good though, it turned out for the better.


All in all, it's been a good couple of weeks.  Could have been perfect had some driver's ed teachers taught their students how to USE THE CRUISE CONTROL!!  Shame on you control-less drivers.

Best time of the whole year, Fantasy Football time.  This is a great time where my Dad and I draft a thousand different fantasy teams then obsess about it all week long.  Finally Sunday hits and reality sets in that I drafted Chris Johnson again, even though I vowed not to, and he has 4 points over two weeks.  MY 1ST OVERALL PICK HAS 6 FREAKING POINTS.  A 67 pound Russian ballerina would have more rushing yards in an NFL game, much less two games.  NEVER AGAIN.



This giant snake was terrorizing the customers at work, there's a bunch of construction happening around Kmart so it probably drove him from his home in the woods.  I was afraid someone was going to kill him, so I picked up the little guy and saved the millions of people's lives who were in peril from this vicious killer.

As you can see, Roy was concerned.  So concerned that he called 911 to report the python to the police.  Ok, not really.












Home sweet home for the giant jungle snake of Rexburg.  This seemed like a better place to terrorize and survive for the killer snake.  Be on the lookout for the Anaconda of the Big K, watch your ankles.  In all seriousness, I hope this little guy eats 300 hobo spiders a day.  He only owes me his life, so I don't think I'm asking too much.






This is what happens when you mock your dog for being a fat princess.  She's so fat, Sir Mix-a-lot doesn't even like her.  She so fat, Kim Kardashian is jealous, and Lamar Odom might dump the large Kardashian dude for her.
         Now that she's on a diet, Lexah's a bit frustrated.  She gets ignored while barking for food or kicking her food dish around the floor.  Then Snoopy gets 50 shades of destroyed in a frustrated, unprovoked attack.  Woodstock is now hiding in the closet to try and avoid the wrath.  Nooooootttt Snoopy!!! NOOOO!!

It's been a little while since we've updated this thing so this might be an epically long and epically arduous post.  Be forewarned.  Where to start.... well, we graduated from ISU in May.  Melissa in Secondary Education and ESL, and me in Get Out Before We Kick You Out Studies.

I took the Van Wilder route of college studies, then on to grad school for a Masters of Social Work from Northwest Nazarene.  Melissa got a job at South Fremont at the elementary, she's over the ESL for the school and will have an ESL class.  She's excited for the opportunity and I know she'll be great!  The thing I benefit most from her job is that she will be able to pick up Big J's pizza bombs on a regular basis and bring them home to me.  (Oh, and I'll have insurance for the first time in 10 years.)

I'm still at KMart pharmacy, Shopko pharmacy and coaching at Rigby.  I enjoy all my jobs, I'm fortunate to work with such great people.  But lets be honest, at this time of year my focus and energy is completely directed at fantasy football.  I will have 5-10 teams on average per year, it's a fun thing to participate in with my Dad and hopefully one of us will win the league in all the leagues this year.




Carly graduated too!  She's now off to Utah State to pursue higher educational goals as an Aggie in the land of Utahia.  She'll do great, we're proud of her and I think we'll have to check up on my parents so they don't have too many house parties now with everyone moved out.

Vaya con Dios, garage cat.

We've moved about 300 times since May, but now we're back in Rexburg so we can be closer to Melissa's job.  We'll miss Rigby, it was a nice place to live and who knows, maybe we'll end up there if I get a teaching job at the high school.  In all the moves, we seemed to have confused Clearance the feral cat and he split back to the wild.  Good thing he's fixed, the last thing the wild cat population needs is more degenerate Clearance cats.

We were able to see Grandma and Grandpa a couple of months ago, it was great to see them!

The past week I was able to go up to Henry's Lake in Island Park with Pace, Samuel, and Brecon to look for garnets.  Brecon and I are rock hounds, last year was opals, this year was the elusive search for garnets.  We hiked all over half the known world, examined billions of insignificant rocks, and found.... not a dang thing.  Just a bunch of rocks and weeds, along with a nice bee sting for Brecon, and a lot of rocks thrown at dead trees.  But it was a lot of fun to get out and hike around and check out the views over the lake, good to hang out and do some active things before the snow flies and the rocks are taunting me under the snow.  

Pace overlooking the lake

Brecon with his weet hat

Samuel and his weet shades

A week ago, my Dad and Samuel and I went to Boise to get Samuel set up in his new place.  I painted the grill for him before he left, and I painted the plywood over his AC when we got there, kinda on a whim so he didn't have to stare at plain plywood.  The wonders of spray paint.  They're not Rembrandt or Picasso, but it's fun and I enjoy it.

Pots and Spray Paint over AC

Thursday Bar-b-que

We saw this in Ontario on our trip...  Filthy redneck hillbillies went way too far this time.  It's one thing to mutilate a Taurus or Pontiac 6000, but some lush must have won the lottery and spent it all on drunken moronic pleasures like this: 

Weird.

Looks comfortable?

Other than all that, we're boring people.  Nothing really happens, we're not too adventurous, and there's no Kardashianesque drama in our lives.  Thank goodness.  The most notable thing I can think of is that Avery now believes himself to be Guardian of the Remotes.  Strange but true, he usually ends up sleeping on the remote for the TV.




Well, I'm sure I've missed a bunch of stuff over the past 5 months.  If I happen to remember, happen to have time, and happen to feel motivated, I'll post it.

Any question who the dominate dog is?

Rigby won the 4A championship on March 3 against Madison. I'm really proud of Coach Jones and the kids, it was incredible to be a part of! It still seems surreal, all the teams in the state make this a goal and to be the one that comes out on top is a dream-like outcome. Honestly, I'm not surprised by winning it all, I watched the time and effort Coach Jones and the boys put into being the best team, best teammates, and great people... It's been awesome to see and experience it from a coaching aspect, I have nothing but gratitude right now for it all. I've learned a lot from Coach Jones, I'm lucky to be on his staff and I think he's an amazing coach and person. I learned a lot from these great kids too!

My Dad is an assistant at Madison, and we been best friends my whole life so it was something that added a twist to the situation, considering we actually played Madison 5 times this year. I would say that I supported my Dad and wanted them to win in every game they played, except when they played us. I have the utmost respect for Coach Hawkins and the staff and kids at Madison as well, it was kind of neat to meet them in the championship, it shows how tough our district was and kudos to Madison's great season as well. Aside from that, WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, MY FRIENDS!!!


What else has been going on? Well, I got kidney stones during the season. It was horrific and I can't adequately explain what it's like, but I'll make a strong effort. I awoke to serious back pain but brushed it off and went to my 20th century European History class because it's an interesting and cool class. You've seen those tattoo's that girls get on their lower back? Yeah, it felt like I was getting a tramp stamp inked from the inside out. Well, about 10 minutes into class, I feel like throwing up, crazy fever, and intense pain on what I thought was my appendix. So I run to the bathroom and pee straight blood which is something that a person doesn't go, "Oh, cool! Blood! Neat!" The pain had increased enough that I had de-evolved to the point of walking stooped over like gigantus epithicus. I went back to class and took the map quiz somehow, then walked, or rather, I slinked like Gollum over to the student health center on campus.

It was closed. On a Tuesday... at 11am. Who makes the hours for the health center? I'd like to know the logic to being closed on a Tuesday, are there statistically less health problems on a Tuesday at ISU or what? Center for higher learning must be a pot reference or something. What genius came up with closing the health center on a Tuesday? No wonder no one has any clue as to what classes I should take, how to apply for graduation, or anything that remotely requires thinking of any type. By this time I was thinking ISU stands for It Sucks Universally.

Anyway... at this point, it felt like my appendix had nuked my kidneys, and my liver sent a MOAB to my appendix, while my kidneys used a steel mace on my liver. Mass internal warfare. I ended up at Community Care, blah blah blah, pain killers and a shot in the butt, blah blah blah, drink copious amounts of water which makes you pee like a 105 year old nursing home patient, blah, blah, blah good luck buddy, deal with it.

18 very long days later, I finally passed the spiky caustic death ball. And three days after that I passed another one. I will spare the details but I would rather be punched in the sternum and ribs by Meta World Peace than have to do all that again. The worst part of all this: I had to stop drinking Coke and eating salty foods. What is the point of living if I can't drink Coke or eat salty foods?

So I starved for about 18 days (not for a cause like Ghandi or anything, but because unsalted food tastes like roasted plastic and burnt cow fur) and finally gave in and gave up on that daft diet. So I'll cautiously drink a Coke now and then, and I'm going to eat whatever I feel like or I will literally starve to death.

Pretty much everything else is school and work, then a little more school and work after that. Here's the obligatory dog photo, they love the space heater and the heating vents, especially Avery. Lexah just does what Avery does until she figures out why he thinks it's a good thing. I think somewhere in Lexah's breeding line Jabba the Hut intervened and added to the line... A diet in her future I do foresee.

So it's been some time since I've had the time, or quite frankly, the desire to sit and write what's been happening... We're pretty boring, just school and work pretty much 24-7. I don't feel like giving the whole year long recap, so I won't. I'll start up today and work my way backward, and forward as time goes on.

So today, just another fun day. School in the AM, work in the PM. I got out of the pharmacy tonight and found my car was blessed with a flat that I was more than enthusiastic to change. Seriously, why isn't there a sarcasm font yet? Anyway, I was in the best mood and I got a call from Rocky Mountain Power about a fridge that I had them recycle. It went a little something like this:

Surveyor Stacy: Hi, I'm with Rocky Mountain, blah blah blah, can I ask you questions about the service we provided in recycling your fridge?
Me: Sure.

Stacy: How did you find out about our service?
Me: My mom told me.

Stacy: What do you think would be a good way for us to advertise this service?
Me: An airplane with a streamer that would fly over my house so I could see it when I left the house in the morning.

Stacy: Uh, ok, let me type that in. Next question, if you hadn't recycled your fridge with us, what would you have done with it?
Me: I'd have put it out in the field and shot it.

Stacy: Ok, you would have put it in a field?
Me: Yeah, I'd have put some racoons in it and shot it a bunch of times to see what would happen.

Stacy: Just a second, I have to type that in as it wasn't one of our standard answers. Was this a fridge or a freezer?
Me: I believe it could do both.

Stacy: Was this your primary fridge?
Me: Yes.

Stacy: Where was it kept in the household?
Me: In the garage.

Stacy: Would you say you live in a residential home, condominium, trailer, or apartment?
Me: Trailer.

Stacy: How old is your residence?
Me: 120 years old.

Stacy: Do you rent or own?
Me: Rent.

Stacy: Is the total income of your household over $50,000?
Me: No, I live in a trailer.

Stacy: How do you heat your home in the winter and cool it in the summer?
Me: In the winter we let all the animals in the house, and in the summer we open the windows and doors.

Stacy: What is the primary source of heat for your house?
Me: The sun.

Stacy: How old is the primary source of heat for your home? (little giggle from her)
Me: I honestly don't know.

Stacy: How many residents live in your home?
Me: Four.

Stacy: How many pets does your household have?
Me: Eighty-one.

There were a bunch of questions, I hit some of the highlights and I know I forgot some of the highlights as well. She asked if I would mind if a supervisor wanted to call and verify the survey, to which I politely agreed. I kept a straight face, answered quickly, and almost lost it when she asked how old my primary source of heat was... but I was a rock.
Here's our awesome house in reality. It's quite the elaborate 120 year old trailer.
And here are a few highlights and such of the past little while:


I've gotten into painting Xbox covers, faceplates, controllers, and just painting in general.












To the left is Clearance... found him hit on the road, feral as feral can be. He's now attached to Melissa and a shining example to mentally handicapped cats everywhere.






My Dad and I on one of the greatest days of the year, FANTASY FOOTBALL DRAFT! Is there really anything greater than fantasy football, I ask you...









Here's Lexah in her normal sleeping pose. It's a good thing she doesn't have bottom teeth or she'd bite her tongue. Alright then, -insert generic closing remark, something funny, sarcastic, deep and thoughtful, or witty-

I have submitted a 'Fail' picture to the Fail blog and Demotivational websites, I happened across this when I was going to Honk's with Carly a couple of years ago... for the novices, Honk's was a dollar store in Rexburg until it went out of business. Sadly, on that fateful day, they must have sold out of ho's, as I was spurned and sent away ho-less. Enjoy.